Apps like Grindr and Scruff provide a fast, easy way for men to meet for hook-ups, dating, and relationships.
Key things to know
- Lots of men enjoy using apps as a fast, easy way to meet other people who are looking for hookups, dating, and relationships.
- Creating app profiles that reflect what you’re looking for can help you get the most out of the experience.
- The main focus of apps is on hookups – they are less useful if you’re looking to find your community.
Getting the most out of apps
Like most things to do with sex and relationships, being as upfront and clear as possible is one of the best ways to get the most out of apps.
Here are a few things you can think about:
Your profile on apps is how you introduce yourself to people online. As you set up your profile, you can decide how much or how little you would like to share about yourself. Try to think about what you want to get out of being online, and only share information that you’re comfortable putting out there.
Lots of online interactions start with a chat. This is a good chance to talk about what you’re both looking for and what you’re into. It’s good to think about where your boundaries are, and what you’re not comfortable with.
There are no obligations, so if you’re not into it, you can walk away with a ‘thanks, but no thanks’.
At some point during a chat someone might choose to share pictures or ask you to do the same. If this is something you’re into and comfortable with, great, but you should never feel pressured into it.
Don’t forget that sharing unsolicited photos, also known as cyberflashing, has been illegal in Scotland since 2010, and in England and Wales since 2023. Make sure you ask for consent before sending any nude photos, and make sure you give consent if you feel comfortable receiving any nude photos. It is also against the law for others to share any such photos you have sent to them, and for you to share any photos you have received.
If you want to take an online chat into the real world, there are things you can do to feel more comfortable. Think about asking for a selfie so you’re confident that the person is who they say they are. Also, talk about where you want to meet and what will happen when you do. It can be a good idea to tell someone you trust where you’re going.
Remember, it’s never too late to say no. If you arrive at the door and he’s not the guy you thought he was, you can just walk away or say “sorry you’re not my type”.
Like any form of social media, you can easily find yourself spending more time on apps that you feel comfortable with. If you feel like this is happening, try to set some boundaries. If willpower alone isn’t enough, most smartphones will allow you to block apps at certain times of day, or limit the time you can use them.
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